Moving Forward
by Melchy
Summary: Jonathan's leaving for college, causes Carolyn a moment of reflection.


Disclaimer: The characters from the Ghost and Mrs. Muir belong to 20th Century Fox and David Gerber Productions. I make no money off of them, but do enjoy butting into their lives from time to time.

This story was written five years ago for my dear friend Denise, when her oldest son left for college. I'd forgotten all about it, until she sent it to me the other day. This story is dedicated to her and her "fine boys."

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Carolyn had decided she would not go into the room again. At least not just now. She knew what she would find if she did enter.

The bed would be neatly made, all of the books aligned on the shelf in military precision, a few clothes hanging in the closet. Completed ship models would be in their place on the shelves, an unfinished one sitting silently by on the desk. In other words, all signs that her youngest child was not at home.

The worst part of the whole thing was that he had only been gone for a day. Just 24 hours. And already she wanted him to come home.

Already she missed his 6 ft 3 frame trying to fit in the doorways, his voracious appetite that was present at every meal, his pile of books and papers lying on the chair inside the front door. If she was like this after only one day, how was she going to make it through until Christmas? That was a whole five months away.

This was different from when Candy had left the nest for college. For one thing, Candy had gone to Philadelphia where she had friends and family to sustain her. And Carolyn had still had had Jonathan at home. But now he was gone, 10 hours away. Was it really worth it, having him so far from home?

They all had been so excited when Jonathan had received his letter of acceptance. Carolyn couldn't remember the Captain ever looking as proud as he had the night that the envelope with the Naval Academy seal came in the mail. Jonathan had ripped it open, read it hurriedly and then had read it once more slowly. His face had gone through a volley of emotions and then finally he had thrown the letter to wherever it fell and grabbed his mother around the waist, swinging her around. "I got in, Mom! Me, into the Naval Academy!"

She had hugged him and kissed him and then did it again. The last time she had seen him this excited was the day not that long ago when he had come running towards her on the beach, yelling 'Mom, Mom. I know how to fix my composition! The Captain helped me, I can get my encyclopedias!" Wishing she could pick him up and swing him around as she had then; instead of the other way around. She contented herself with rumpling his hair and then stepping back for his sister to give him a punch in the shoulder and say 'not bad for a bozo."

The very next day, they had gone to Boston and looked for the things on the list that he needed to bring with him. Most of his belongings, including uniforms, dress whites, shoes, and books, would be provided for him upon his arrival at the Academy. It was a lot of fun going through the stores, picking up extra T-shirts and underwear and enough socks to keep an Eskimo warm, as Jonathan had teased her.

It was a wonderful day, spent with her two children, going out to eat afterwards to a Chinese restaurant and practicing their salutes at the boy who took it all good-naturedly.

"The only thing that could make this day better would be if the Captain could be here, " Candy had said, and they all had agreed.

In the next few weeks, Jonathan had spent hours with the Captain, going over what the seaman knew about ships and operations.

"Not that they can't teach you much more than I can," he had told the boy the night before he left.

"Why didn't you go the Academy, Captain?" the lad had asked him.

"I had already been through a war and was a second mate the year it opened. And to tell you the truth, I thought that I knew much more than an uptight admiral who hadn't left his bed in years could teach me. But I am quite proud of you, and I know you will become a fine midshipman and if you happen to become a captain or even an admiral, I might even be prouder," he had said in a moment of joviality.

"I do want to make you proud, sir, " Jonathan had said solemnly.

"Lad, you make me proud every day, just by being who you are."

The freshman class, or the plebes as they were called, had to arrive in Annapolis seven weeks early, to go through, well, "hell", as his contact in Boston had told him. Each new member of the class was given a big brother, an upper classman who wrote to them several times during the summer and gave them encouragement and guidance as in what to expect.

"But not too much." Alex had teased Jonathan the weekend Carolyn had invited the young man to Gull Cottage. "We want you to enjoy your plebe weeks as intended."

As the time drew nearer, Carolyn had invested in a strong, deep trunk and they had packed all of Jonathan's belongings. Two days before his departure, she had it sent down to The Academy so it would be one less thing he would have to worry about. Among the things that Jonathan had taken with him was the Captain's sextant and a book his mother had given him to ease the loneliness.

The morning that Carolyn took him to the train station, Captain Gregg did come to see him off, saying that nothing could keep him from saying good-bye. Candy had teased her brother about not going crazy on his first liberty and the Captain had reminded him that he was there to study, that women could come later.

Jonathan had hugged his sister playfully, and told her to write to him once in a while. He had saluted his hero and the two of them, eye to eye, had said their good-byes, as only men understand. Martha had told him to mind his manners and if the government knew how much he ate, they wouldn't have let him in.

"You'll make the national debt go sky high," she had said gruffly, wiping away tears of her own.

When Jonathan got to his mother, he had grabbed her and hugged her, ashamed to find tears running down his cheeks. "You've done so much for me Mom," he had told her, "I hope I can repay you someday."

"Just make good grades, " she had touched his wet cheek with the back of her hand, "and for heaven's sake, don't mix the whites and the darks when you do laundry."

"I actually think they have someone to do that for us," he had laughed. "Big tough navy men that we are."

The train had come all too soon and they had watched as the eighteen year old boarded, leaving them for his new life.

"He will do fine." Carolyn had told the others as they waved to her son until he was out of sight. "He will be just fine."

And now she was standing in the doorway of his room, not being able to avoid it. He was gone and even though he would be back, it would never be the same. And that made her both happy and sad at the same time.

"He will be fine." Daniel Gregg came up behind her, his eyes also searching the room with great sadness. "He has a great foundation."

"Yes," she smiled up at the specter, love shining in her eyes. "He does."


End file.
